


Part of the Journey is the End

by pro_fangirl



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Death, Feels, I. Am. Iron Man., Part of the Journey is the End, Sad Peter Parker, Sad Rhodey, Sadness, Tony Stark Dies, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark-centric, You can rest now, grab some tissues, this is a sad one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 10:34:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20095855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pro_fangirl/pseuds/pro_fangirl
Summary: "Dread it. Run from it. Destiny arrives all the same."Thanos hadn’t been wrong.This is his destiny. Tony knows that without a fraction of a doubt. He grits his teeth, and his fingers finish their movement.The sound of justice is loud and clear, resounding throughout the battlefield.Or: Tony's thoughts as he finally gets to rest





	Part of the Journey is the End

“And I. Am. Ironman.”

Those words seem fitting. They’re how he got started on this whole crazy journey. They might as well be how he ends it.

Because as Tony goes to snap his fingers, he knows that this is indeed the end.

How funny that he was Iron Man for over a decade. He fought various foes and survived such terrible things, and it’s a simple hand motion that kills him. Who would have guessed?

Power courses through Tony, creeping up his arm, then his neck in all the colors of the rainbow. Like he had ingested all the broken, worn-down crayons of Morgan’s crayon box.

Tony’s fingers move together, and for a moment he has an abundance of knowledge. In that split second he sees. He sees the universe. Not just one. Two, three, a hundred, a million different universes. The multiverse theory of the Multiverse is indeed true. Tony sees all the different ways his life could have gone.  _ Has  _ gone on these different earths. Some make him smile, while others are devastating. He sees all the different ways this fight could have ended. He sees the terrible, terrible place the earth could have become. He sees the past, and he sees the future. He sees all the bad things, parts of life he had never wanted to know. Parts that rock him to his core. But he sees all the good things, too. He sees what could be if he put this gauntlet down, right now. And in this split second of knowledge he wants to. He wants to live out the rest of his life in peace. Wants to get Peter and Harley together. Wants to see Morgan grow up. Wants to wake up every morning next to Pepper. Oh, all the moments he’d like to make! How he’d like to put the gauntlet down. But if he does, he knows that it will not end well for the rest of the world. Any happiness gained will be gained selfishly.

When Thor had told them what had happened on the Asgardian ship, he had quoted Thanos at one point.

_ Dread it. Run from it. Destiny arrives all the same. _

Thanos hadn’t been wrong.

This is his destiny. Tony knows that without a fraction of a doubt. He grits his teeth, and his fingers finish their movement. 

The sound of justice is loud and clear, resounding throughout the battlefield. 

It hurts though. It hurts so incredibly much. It’s agonizing, the searing, burning pain. Tony collapses, leaning against what had previously been part of the compound wall. 

The stories that this chunk of metal, wires, and concrete could tell. 

Tony’s eyes focus on some random point in the distance. His face flattens, emotionless. He’s too tired to try to put on a smile. He can feel his hold on life slipping away, but he hangs on. He can’t go yet, not until he knows his work is done.

Rhodey comes first. Good old Rhodey. The first true friend Tony had made. His mind flashes back to MIT.

_ “You’re Tony Stark, huh?” _

_ “That’s me.”  _ Tony was pretty sure he had winked then.

_ “I thought you were taller.” _

“Tones,” is all Rhodey says. The rest is communicated with his eyes. They’ve known each other for so long, words aren’t necessary.

But Tony wants them. Wants to tell Rhodey thank you. Thank him for sticking by Tony when he was nothing but an alcoholic and a playboy. Thank him for being there, all these years. But Tony can’t talk, it would take too much energy to open his mouth. 

A question burns at the edge of his mind.  _ Was it successful? Did we win? _

Rhodey doesn’t say anything about the fight. He just runs ironclad fingers through Tony’s hair before cupping his face with one hand. His smile says he knows. He knows all the unspoken words between them. Everything is at peace.

Tony hears a grunt, then footsteps. Rhodey’s face falls, a mixture of grief about Tony and sadness for the newcomer.

“Mister Stark?”

Peter. 

Tony’s heart breaks. He doesn’t want the kid to see this. Doesn’t want him to have to go through this. He knows how much loss Peter has had in his life. He doesn’t wish this upon him at all. 

_ Dread it. Run from it. Destiny arrives all the same.  _

Destiny is a wicked thing.

Rhodey moves back, making room for Peter.

“Hey.” Peter’s voice shakes. Tony can’t blame him. Tony wants to smile, reach up and reassure him that everything will be okay. But it’s as if all feeling has abandoned him. He doesn’t even feel the pain anymore. Just the sting of grief and sadness.

Peter’s breaths come fast. “Mister Stark. Can you hear me?”

_ I can hear you, kid. _

What Tony would give to be able to reach out and pull Peter close. Or better yet, reach out and undo all this crippling loss that has followed Peter like a shadow.

“It’s Peter.”

Peter. When Tony had met him, he’d exceeded expectations. He was so selfless, so thoughtful, so pure. Everything Tony wasn’t. 

He hadn’t expected what had happened next. Peter Parker, some random teenage boy, had seen the walls Tony erected around his heart. And he had crashed through every single one of them. 

Tony hadn’t even thought that was possible for Pepper to do. But here was some kid who spent the majority of his day swinging around in spandex, and he managed to change Tony’s life for the better. So much better.

“Hey. Hey.” Peter’s breaths still come in ragged gasps. The adrenaline from the fight must be wearing off.

“We won, Mister Stark.” Another shaky inhale. 

Tony relaxes. They did it. They won. The evil purple raisin is no more than a pile of dust. 

“We won, Mister Stark,” Peter repeats as if making sure Tony knows. 

Tony’s vision is starting to go fuzzy, but he still sees the tears in Peter’s eyes as he continues. “We won, Mister Stark. You did it, sir.”

_ I did it for you. _ Tony wants to tell Peter that. Wants to tell him how he saw him in the photo. How he flashed back to their first meeting. The words Peter had told him. The moment Tony had realized how selfless Peter was. The moment he realized that this fourteen year old was a better superhero and person than he was. 

_ “When you can do the things I can, but you don’t, and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you.” _

Peter would never know how much those words stuck with Tony over the years. He wouldn’t know that Tony might have kept his knowledge about time travel to himself if Peter hadn’t spoken those words. 

Words, spoken years earlier, had saved the world.

“You did it.”

He hadn’t done it. Peter had. 

Tony feels trembling hands clutch onto his arms. He sees the tears spilling out from Peter’s eyes. That more than anything hurts him. He doesn’t like seeing Peter cry. Especially when he is the cause of it. 

Pepper is there now, and she’s gently pulling Peter away. He reaches out, hands on Tony’s chest where his arc reactor was. Where his heart is.

“I’m sorry, Tony.”

Tony desperately wishes he could find the energy to speak. Wants to reassure Peter that he shouldn’t be sorry. Peter has done nothing but good. It’s the world that should be apologizing to Peter. Apologizing for all the pain, and loss, and suffering that has been given to him. Life isn’t fair. But life shouldn't be this unfair. 

He wants to reach out and hug the kid. Tell him “I love you. It’s going to be okay.” But he can’t open his mouth. 

_ “That’s not a hug, I’m just grabbing the door for you.” _

_ “Oh.” _

_ “We’re not there yet.” _

Never has Tony regretted his words more. They’re there now. Have been for quite a while. And, oh, how Tony regrets not telling him sooner. Now he can’t tell him at all. 

It’s only as Peter stands up and steps away, hands covering his mouth as he cries, that Tony realizes the importance of what he has just heard.

“I’m sorry,  _ Tony. _ ” 

Tony can count on one hand the number of times Peter has called him that. It had always been Mister Stark or Sir, never Tony. It had taken Tony’s death for him to be called by his first name.

Screw Thanos.

Pepper kneels in front of him now. She’s in the suit Tony had made her. Purple, the exact shade of purple from the dress she had been wearing at that charity event. The same event where he had danced with her and realized he was in love with her.

She smiles at him. That same smile that makes him fall head-over-heels in love with her again every time it lights up on her face.

He wants to say something.  _ Needs  _ to say something.

“Hey.” Pepper’s hand goes where Peter’s had. Right on top of the arc reactor. 

Using up all his remaining energy, he manages to open his mouth the tiniest bit and reply. 

“Hey, Pep.”

The words are quiet, barely a whisper. He doesn’t know if she can hear him.

Her eyes tell him she does. 

His hand moves to cover hers. He’s tired, enough to not even feel the sadness anymore. He wants to rest, drift off to sleep. But if Pepper needed him, he would fight it. He would do anything to make her happy, he always has. 

“FRIDAY?” Tony sees the determination in her eyes. Knows that Pepper wants to be absolutely certain that this situation is irreversible before giving up.

Man, he loves this woman. 

He knows the answer FRIDAY will give, however. Sure enough, the AI’s feminine voice speaks up. The voice is soft, but clear.

“Life functions critical.”

He isn’t going to make it out of this fight. There isn’t going to be a recovery this time around. This is the end. 

_ Dread it. Run from it. Destiny always arrives. _

Tony sees the hope drain from Pepper’s eyes. He watches as she draws the same conclusion as he did.

_ Part of the journey is the end. _ He had said that in one of the many messages he had recorded to leave to his family. He had hoped they would never have to hear it. Now it seems they will.

He doesn’t want Pepper to be sad. He wants to make this moment as painless as possible for her. So he smiles. Not a smirk. Not a sarcastic smile. Not one to please the press, or to fake happiness. A true smile that Tony doesn’t often use.

She smiles back. 

His vision is fading even more now. Tony can feel any remaining strength seeping out of him. His head falls to the side slightly. He is incredibly tired. He wants to sleep. But Pepper, and Rhodey, and Peter don’t want him to, so he won’t.

“Tony.” Pepper’s voice is a mixture of commanding and comforting. Tony tries to find her, vision blurring. “Look at me.”

She leans in closer, and his eyes meet hers. Those eyes. Tony has always been captivated by people’s eyes. They really are the window to the soul. You could find out people’s deepest, darkest secrets from their eyes. It was why Tony had always worn sunglasses. They made him feel less vulnerable. He has always loved Pepper’s eyes. They’re blue. The color of an ocean blue. How often he has gotten lost in them. It dawns on him that this would be the last time he would ever see them. 

He drinks them in in their entirety.

These are the eyes of his wife. His only true love. The woman who he has created a child with. Oh, Morgan. That hurts. She will have to live the rest of her life without her father. 

A small groan escapes his lips. He wants to sleep. But he also wants to stay around for Morgan and Peter. And Harley. Harley will miss him too. 

_ “So you’re going to leave me here? Just like my dad?” _

Tony doesn’t want to leave anybody. He wants to be around for them. Make sure they are going to be okay. 

“We’re going to be okay.”

That. That is good. Comforting. He doesn’t have to worry about that then. If Pepper says they are going to be okay, it’s the truth. Pepper never lies. It’s one of the many things Tony loves about her.

Pepper keeps smiling as Tony’s last remaining vestiges of strength begin to fade and his head drifts to the side again. 

“You can rest now.” 

Tony has been told to rest many, many times during his life. He’s never been one for sleep. Taking care of himself has been one of the few ideas he could never quite get a grasp on. And of course it doesn’t help that insomnia has been one of his closest friends. So the few important people in his life seemed to have taken it upon themselves to force him to get at least a few hours of shut eye.

“You’re not going to be any good if you keep living like this. You need to rest, Tony.” Pepper has always insisted that Iron Man was going to get him killed. She, as she usually is, was right.

“Ninety-six hours, really? That’s four days, Tones!” Rhodey has never stepped away, even when Tony has given him every reason to. 

“You look tired, Mister Stark. Maybe you should take a break and rest.” Peter, always making sure that Tony takes care of himself. Even when Peter has terrible self preservation skills himself.

“I’m taking care of this, Tony. You should go take a nap.” Steve Rodgers, protector to the core. He hopes Steve knows that Tony has forgiven him. 

“We’re watching a movie, Tony. You should come join us.” Avenger movie nights usually resulted in half-an-hour of fighting over which movie to watch, then two hours of slightly (ok, a little more than slightly) offensive commentary usually led by Clint. But it was comforting and familiar, and Tony was almost always asleep halfway into the movie. 

Sometimes the request for Tony to rest was casual, calm. Other times, like when he was pushing on day five with no sleep, the request turned into orders. 

This is not an order. It’s an offering. He can let go now. He’s okay. Everyone is okay. Everything will be okay. He can rest now. He can rest.

The light fades from his arc reactor as his hand falls from where it was holding onto Pepper’s.

His eyes strain for one last taste of the world. His gaze drifts over Rhodey and Peter, Steve and the remains of the army, then to Pepper. 

Her smile is still there. It’s okay, it seems to say. I’m here. Let go.

Tony does. And for the first time in his life, his sleep is peaceful. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for any mental tramua I may have caused with this story. I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless. 
> 
> Have a great day, and remember, it's only 2019. Tony's not dead yet.


End file.
